Infatuation Or Love
You saw a person first time and and strated loving. This is very confusing. Then what to do. You require introspection. You have to differentiate between infatuation and love. It is very critical. It can be very foolish, if you are not analysing the feeling.
"Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or love; addictive love. Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of relationship when sexual attraction is central. Love can be described as feeling of intense affection for another person." (Sigmund Freud)
The Period Of Lasting Infatuation
"Infatuation can last 4–5 months, after that if you still are “infatuated” towards a person, its love. 4–5 months time period is not a set limit but it is usually said because in this time you can actually get to know a person and infatuation lasts till you don't know something repulsive about a person."
(Dr. Robert Henry)
BELOW ARE MENTIONED 14 POINTS IN DETAILS, WHICH WILL HELP YOU TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN LOVE AND INFATUATION
Sign 1: You are Only Known To Each Other For A Short Time
I’ve known people who have said they were in love after a few days. But, a few months later, they realized that they hated everything about the person, which showed that when they claimed it was love, they hadn’t taken enough time to really get to know the person enough to really love them.
Sign 2: You Are Focused On What You Want Out Of The Relationship
Some people get into a relationship and can see themselves dating, getting married, having kids, and relocating to a tropical island for their retirement. They picture all of these things in detail, including short-term events, such as spending time together and falling more and more in love. But, they are focused on their future with this person from their point of view, not the other person’s point of view. If you see your relationship solely from your point of view, then it is infatuation, not love.
Love is about knowing what the other person wants in life and working on compromising. It’s not about satisfying your needs and expectations solely.
Sign 3: They Seem High Above You
It’s common to put someone we are infatuated with on a pedestal so high above ourselves that feel we lucky that they can even see us. In short, we make them out to be something they are not. We see their strengths, their perfections, their positive attributes, but we are blind to their weaknesses, imperfections, and negative attributes, while we can clearly see ours.
If all you can see is perfection in them, then it’s infatuation vs love. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much it seems that way. Every one of us has faults and makes mistakes and can get a bit annoying to other human beings. When you truly love someone, you can see them for who they are – the good and the bad – and love them anyway.
Sign 4: You Feel Like You Won The Lottery
Being infatuated is a lot like feeling like you just won the lottery. You can’t believe it, and all you can focus on is the fact that you won the lottery. If need be, you’d be willing to skip work, boycott friends, cut out family members, and do anything else you have to do to pick up that money. Those things are all just distractions when it comes to that one thing that you can’t keep your mind off.
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Real love isn’t like that. Love is what it feels like after you have the money and can do great things in your life. Love makes you want to create a better life for yourself in all areas. You become a better friend, a more loving person, more dedicated to your career, and more willing to make your life a success. The feeling of being loved and loving someone else makes you want to embrace your life more and be a better person, not escape everything you have worked to become because of one focal point.
Sign 5: You Feel Like You Know Everything, And Actually Know Nothing About He/She.
When you are in a state where you feel like you know everything about them (but you actually don’t), you are in a state of infatuation. If you think you know what makes them tick, what kind of person they are, and what they want out of their life, but you haven’t actually sat down and talked to them about all of those things or really had experience with them that taught you those things, then you are infatuated, not in love.
One of my friends met a guy one night when she was hanging out with some friends. He was the guitar player in a band, and she quickly made assumptions about him that painted him in a really good light. She imagined he had tons of dreams about becoming professional. She imagined him tender and warm with his lovers because of how he played the guitar. And, she started to project other ‘truths’ on him based on what she was feeling. He didn’t talk much to her that first night, but the things he did say made her think it was love at first sight. After a few more nights out together, she got to know some things about him that confirmed her love. He was an animal lover and wanted 3 kids one day, just like her. But, after a few dates together, she learned a lot more. Turns out he lived with parents, smoked crack, and didn’t have any desire to do anything with his life. She instantly fell out of love (which indicates that she wasn’t in love in the first place because you don’t instantly fall out of love with someone), and she ran for her life.
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